Introvert

Sometimes, I am preoccupied with all thoughts about myself. Natatanong ko nga kadalasan sa sarili kung sadyang selfish lang ba talaga ako or wala lang talaga akong mapagkonekan ng iniisip. There are really times when amidst the many people and friends surrounding me, I still felt alone. I don't know but that is usually true. I joke and make fun with my friends all the time, but it still feels like I couldn't trust them with everything I know - my secrets. 

Hay! Sana may bestfriend na dumating sa buhay ko. Feeling ko tuloy ang lonely lonely ko. Nagiging emo ako na wala naman dahilan. Ang sarap lang kasing magkwento ng mga secreto tapos yung tipong di ka natatakot ma blackmail bah. Yun lang naman ang hiling ko! Pati nga dito sa blog di ko masabi, kasi feeling ko may kumukutya at nagja-judge sakin. 

 

Guilt

Ang sakit-sakit pag may mga desisyon kang pinagsisihan noh?! These are times when you think about those days that everything could have been like this if I did these. Hay! Sana maka-move on na ako sa mga regrets na'to. Ang tanda-tanda ko na para mag-regrets ng mga bagay. Paano ba naman kasi, may isang taong nagbabalik from the past. Sino sya? Well, dahil sa nonymous naman ako sa inyu, iki-kwento ko para naman mabawas-bawasan tong bigat na dinadala ko.

He's a guy, and he's my ex-boyfriend. At uu lablife po eto. Kunti lang naman ang super bigat na problema sa mundo - family feuds, money, at health issue.

Anyway, he was such a very good guy. Lahat ata ng whims ko sinusunod nya. May pagka-demanding kasi ako sa relationship. Feelengera lang! Akala ko nuon kahit anong pasakit na gawin ko, di sya mapapagod. Hiniwalayan ko sya just because I needed to pick up myself (ewan kung san-san ko kasi naiiwan sarili ko before). So, nasaktan ko sya.

Lahat daw binigay nya para lang mag-work ang relationship namin. Halos ipakasal na nga kami ng mommy niya kasi nga etong si boylet, inlababu naman kasi masyado. At alam nyo gusto ako ng mommy at family niya kasi super idealistic at ambitious ako. Tapos pretty (di super maganda basta di pangit) at mabait pa. hehehe

Ang boring kasi ng life ko before. I needed some change. Ewan kong anong change naman yun. I really didn't know what was missing then. And I was young during those days. Hiniwalayan ko sya. pero nakipagbalikan din naman ako after few months when I realized that I couldn't live without him. Eh ayaw na nya. Ang sakit daw kasi. Sya nanaman daw ang manghihingi ng time. Chos! Madali akong kausap eh. So we moved on for more than a year. I met someone else, and he has someone else after a year. 

But then again, etong makulit na older brother nya naging bridge para kami magconnect. Until now, tumatawag pa rin sya sakin, at nasasabik parin ako sa mga kwento nya. Hay! Ayoko sanang maging ganito ang lahat. Talo kasi ako kasi in a relationship na kaming dalawa. Ang pangit talaga pag nagi-guilty ka.

 

Excitement

I finally have my own personal online diary. I have two blogs I publicly claimed under my name, but I still can’t find any liberty of sharing my personal thoughts about things around me. At least right now, with Google’s blogspot, I am now officially giving the best out of me here in blogosphere. 

And selecting this blog’s name is so hard. At first I chose, Thoughtless Thoughts, but someone is already using it, and worse? That person is not actively sharing her thoughts here online. If only she could have given that blog name to me. Anyway, let me stick to Thoughtless Behavior instead.

Please feel free to comment and blabber anything. Thank you. Till next.